So not really a lot of stuff going on with me right now. Other then the usual, taking care of the business, taking care of the kids, taking care of the dogs, taking care of the cats, taking care of the garden. Wow guess I do have some stuff going on right now.
So I get a call last night at 9:15 for the Hubby. “Hey you remember that class action law suite I filled out for work?” “Ah no when was this?” “Are you kidding me you don’t remember?” “Ah no when was it?” So I am racking my brain trying to figure out what the hell he is talking about. So I finally say ah okay yeah. But of course I am lying cuz I have no clue what he is talking about and he is clearly getting frustrated with me. So he starts to tell me that he filled it out and I was supposed to mail it. A while back. I am still thinking what the hell I have no recollection of this. Finally after 15 minutes of complaining about how I am unable to remember this major even in his life, he informs me it was like 3 or 4 years ago. OH MY GOD, do I look like a computer or something that can just search for a file. I mean seriously, I can’t remember what I did a week ago, how in the F*@# am I supposed to remember something from that long ago. He must think I have nothing better to do then file each day’s events by date and store them on my hard drive in my head. Even after all his complaining I told him I still didn’t remember. He was a little pissed off. LOL oh well I mean the guy must really think I am wonder woman or something. Now if I was smart I would have said something stupid like do you remember the shit you were wearing when we first dated? Of course it would have been my luck that he would have and I have no clue. So sometimes keeping one’s mouth shut is the best idea I think.
On the Garden front – Okay Corona does not work unless you actually replant the plants you want to save. I killed the squash and the cucumber plants. I am such a tard! Maybe I will go get a couple more and plant them this time. Green bean plants are growing like crazy though. Those things grow at least a inch a day. I don’t know how they do it. Now if I could figure out how they grow at a inch a day and convert that into losing a inch a day for me I would be rich! Maybe I should have paid more attention in science class?
Tuesday – I am thinking of possibly going down to Disneyland with a friend of mine and my son’s school. She is driving her own car down. Now it would be fun and all I have to do is pay for a Disneyland park pass, which is a discounted rate, but I am not sure I want to be gone for 3 says at Disneyland. But you never know I might be blogging from the hotel. I will let you know if I go! Only down side is riding home on a bus with the kids.
July I will be traveling with my son’s drum and bugle corps. on tour. I offered to help them out. I figured it would be a great way to see the country and contribute my share of help and get out of the house. Now here’s my problem with the whole thing. The end of the tour is on my birthday and I have plans to go to Tahoe and have a lucky birthday! I mean how often does 08/08/08 come around? It must be a lucky day I would guess I am going to win big! On the other hand could be the most unlucky day of gambling ever and then I would be pissed that I came home. So what should I do? You did notice I didn’t even complain about sleeping on a bus or on a school gym floor didn’t you? In any event I will keep you posted. Maybe I will go and come home from NY???? Really gotta think about this one.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Turkey Invasion
Okay so I am sitting at the computer as i always am! I hear this boom bang crash gobble gobble. I am like , what the hell was that. "Mom a turkey is in the dog's yard got get it" Go get it? What the hell how am I gonna get a turkey. okay well i am the Mom and like any good Mom I go running out to the yard to see what I can do. So as you know I have 300 plus pounds of dogs to control as they want to know how come i never got them a chewy toy that could fly before. So hear i am screaming at the dogs. "Bella, no Bella no God damn it Bella get away" "Shit buddy no buddy no god damn it where is the hose"? No response from the dogs they want to play with this stupid damn turkey that has flown in the yard. I finally get the dogs away and look at Bella and she has feathers in her mouth. Great she is killing the turkey or so I think anyways.
So I am screaming at the dogs, it is 100 degrees outside i am pissed off and have a freaked out turkey in my yard. I know, I will just put the dogs in the house open the gate and the turkey will just walk out. So off i go back in the house with the dogs. I wait a couple of hours and let the dogs out and close the gate. The Turkey must be gone by now. shit off go the dogs the stupid turkey is still in the yard. I cant believe it! What the hell! This is the dumbest turkey in the world. now I feel even worse because I notice it is a girl turkey and I know she probably has a nest somewhere around here. So back in the house go the dogs and i close the door. Forget it I think to myself, when the son gets home he can deal with it.
Andrew gets home, I yell hey, go check the yard for a turkey. he's like what the hell are you talking about. So i explain - quickly cuz i am in the car now, and he goes off to look. When I get back he says Mom no turkey was in the yard. Great I think to myself, because we all ready know I was going to start looking for the Turkey Rescue people if I couldn't get it out of the yard.
Well I have no idea if there is a dead turkey in the yard or not actually because my son didn't walk the whole damn fence line and I am to afraid to walk it in fear that I might find a dead turkey.
honestly i don't think i am cut out for the country life. Normal people would have probably killed it and ate the damn thing. And here I am trying to figure out how to save this stupid bird. Something is wrong with this picture don't ya think? I am such a tard. Maybe I should go look and see if the damn Turkey is gone by now.
So I am screaming at the dogs, it is 100 degrees outside i am pissed off and have a freaked out turkey in my yard. I know, I will just put the dogs in the house open the gate and the turkey will just walk out. So off i go back in the house with the dogs. I wait a couple of hours and let the dogs out and close the gate. The Turkey must be gone by now. shit off go the dogs the stupid turkey is still in the yard. I cant believe it! What the hell! This is the dumbest turkey in the world. now I feel even worse because I notice it is a girl turkey and I know she probably has a nest somewhere around here. So back in the house go the dogs and i close the door. Forget it I think to myself, when the son gets home he can deal with it.
Andrew gets home, I yell hey, go check the yard for a turkey. he's like what the hell are you talking about. So i explain - quickly cuz i am in the car now, and he goes off to look. When I get back he says Mom no turkey was in the yard. Great I think to myself, because we all ready know I was going to start looking for the Turkey Rescue people if I couldn't get it out of the yard.
Well I have no idea if there is a dead turkey in the yard or not actually because my son didn't walk the whole damn fence line and I am to afraid to walk it in fear that I might find a dead turkey.
honestly i don't think i am cut out for the country life. Normal people would have probably killed it and ate the damn thing. And here I am trying to figure out how to save this stupid bird. Something is wrong with this picture don't ya think? I am such a tard. Maybe I should go look and see if the damn Turkey is gone by now.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
This is So Freaking True
You have to watch this video it is so funny and I know ALL of you can relate!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Saturday and nothing to do
Now just the sound of that sucks! Well I have plenty to do, just don't feel like doing anything at all. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that yesterday I went to a local winery and proceeded to help drink 2 bottles of Pino Grigo wine, which I must admit was very tasty, and then went to a local bar and had a few Corona's. You think that might be why I don't feel like doing anything today? LOL
Tomorrow is Mother's Day - Happy Mother's Day to all you Mother's! LOL. I got a very beautiful boutique of Hawaiian flowers from the hubby. I was like WOW where are the tickets, maybe he is flying me to Hawaii????? Damn it no tickets, no such like or should I say it's just my luck. I laughed and told him "is a car coming to pick me up and take me to the airport to catch the plan"? He says what the hell are you talking about? Have you lost your mind or something? I guess maybe I did for a minute or two. But on the plus side I hear I am getting my very own picture of Johnny Depp, with a lovely little autograph to meeeeee!! That's a better gift anyways I love that guy. Oh yeah I told all of you that all ready.
I will have a few Corona's for all of you tomorrow and hope that you all have a excellent day!!! I did tell the hubby a better gift then the picture of JD would be if he just sent him home so I could "visit" with him for a couple of days!!!!! LOL it didn't go over that well............ but I thought it was funny!
Tomorrow is Mother's Day - Happy Mother's Day to all you Mother's! LOL. I got a very beautiful boutique of Hawaiian flowers from the hubby. I was like WOW where are the tickets, maybe he is flying me to Hawaii????? Damn it no tickets, no such like or should I say it's just my luck. I laughed and told him "is a car coming to pick me up and take me to the airport to catch the plan"? He says what the hell are you talking about? Have you lost your mind or something? I guess maybe I did for a minute or two. But on the plus side I hear I am getting my very own picture of Johnny Depp, with a lovely little autograph to meeeeee!! That's a better gift anyways I love that guy. Oh yeah I told all of you that all ready.
I will have a few Corona's for all of you tomorrow and hope that you all have a excellent day!!! I did tell the hubby a better gift then the picture of JD would be if he just sent him home so I could "visit" with him for a couple of days!!!!! LOL it didn't go over that well............ but I thought it was funny!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Hello to all the new friends
Thanks for coming and checking out my blog. I hope you enjoy reading about my life and what goes on in it. When I read back over the posts I have made, they make me laugh. For those of you who don’t know I sent out my newsletter to everyone and gave them my blog address. I am hoping they have some great stores to tell us as well. We can’t be the only ones in the world were everything is f!!@ed up! I was sitting here reading over my past posts and thought to myself, at least I wasn’t talking out loud to myself, hey I wonder if my customer base would have fun with this? So I decided to send out a newsletter and give them the web address! Welcome to all of you have come on over and I hope you find the time to say hello!
The damn dogs keep me up all night. So I have these two beautiful dogs. Buddy he is a Brazilian Mastiff and weights 180 pounds at last weigh in and is the biggest baby I have ever seen in my life. He doesn’t like people to much, well unless you’re a girl. My daughter said hey mom I want a dog and I want this big ass dog. So I, being the great mom that I am said let me think about it. Well we were moving up to 10 acres in the country so a big dog would be nice. I mean what the heck right? Little did I know how much a big dog eats? In my mind I am thinking oh a little food here and there. LOL yeah right. This dog is so damn big it isn’t even funny. And of course we get this dog when the hubby is away on a job. So I had to stress about whether this dog would even like the hubby or not. Well the dog loves the hubby which is a good thing cuz one would have to go and I think with how big the dog is the hubby would have lost the battle. Anyway this dog is such a big cry baby and whines and whines and whines all damn day so I get this great idea, let’s get him a girlfriend. So we did, we got him a Neapolitan Mastiff girlfriend, her name is Bella Blue (because she is blue gray) and the whole time she was growing up, this little tiny puppy, we were thinking she will never be big enough to play with this 180 pound dog. Guess what, we were wrong, she is 140 pounds and can kick his ass when she wants to. One would think the damn girlfriend Bella would keep Buddy from whining right? Nope, now we have two very large dogs that eat more then any human could ever eat in a life time and whine all day and want to be with you every minute of every day. And to top it off they think that my bed is their bed and sleep with me. So two huge dogs and two cats take up the whole king sized bed and I get no sleep. So I have a plan………
You guessed it I am getting another Corona if I drink enough I wont care that they take up the whole bed and I can sleep anywhere! Dogs, wonder if I could actually get them to work or something? At least they could attempt to earn their keep around here. Now not only do I need to figure out how to make my own booze, grown my own food, save up money to get a solar powered car, I think I need to raise cattle or something so the dogs can have some food! Will it ever end?
By the way a stupid barrel of oil hit 124.00 or something like that. You know I bet if I dig down far enough I might have oil around here somewhere????? Yep a few more Coronas and a shovel should do just fine. I will let you know if I find oil... LOL
Lots of Love
Cindy
The damn dogs keep me up all night. So I have these two beautiful dogs. Buddy he is a Brazilian Mastiff and weights 180 pounds at last weigh in and is the biggest baby I have ever seen in my life. He doesn’t like people to much, well unless you’re a girl. My daughter said hey mom I want a dog and I want this big ass dog. So I, being the great mom that I am said let me think about it. Well we were moving up to 10 acres in the country so a big dog would be nice. I mean what the heck right? Little did I know how much a big dog eats? In my mind I am thinking oh a little food here and there. LOL yeah right. This dog is so damn big it isn’t even funny. And of course we get this dog when the hubby is away on a job. So I had to stress about whether this dog would even like the hubby or not. Well the dog loves the hubby which is a good thing cuz one would have to go and I think with how big the dog is the hubby would have lost the battle. Anyway this dog is such a big cry baby and whines and whines and whines all damn day so I get this great idea, let’s get him a girlfriend. So we did, we got him a Neapolitan Mastiff girlfriend, her name is Bella Blue (because she is blue gray) and the whole time she was growing up, this little tiny puppy, we were thinking she will never be big enough to play with this 180 pound dog. Guess what, we were wrong, she is 140 pounds and can kick his ass when she wants to. One would think the damn girlfriend Bella would keep Buddy from whining right? Nope, now we have two very large dogs that eat more then any human could ever eat in a life time and whine all day and want to be with you every minute of every day. And to top it off they think that my bed is their bed and sleep with me. So two huge dogs and two cats take up the whole king sized bed and I get no sleep. So I have a plan………
You guessed it I am getting another Corona if I drink enough I wont care that they take up the whole bed and I can sleep anywhere! Dogs, wonder if I could actually get them to work or something? At least they could attempt to earn their keep around here. Now not only do I need to figure out how to make my own booze, grown my own food, save up money to get a solar powered car, I think I need to raise cattle or something so the dogs can have some food! Will it ever end?
By the way a stupid barrel of oil hit 124.00 or something like that. You know I bet if I dig down far enough I might have oil around here somewhere????? Yep a few more Coronas and a shovel should do just fine. I will let you know if I find oil... LOL
Lots of Love
Cindy
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Kicking back with my Corona
So I started this whole blog thing with all my friends and of course I am getting bitched at daily cuz I am not blogging enough! I can never win! Well let's start off with this week and what I have been up to. So I was extremely depressed over this last weekend and tried to take my mind off things and just forget about all the stress I have been dealing with. It helped a bit but then Monday hit and it was all right back in the fore front of my mind. All I could do was sit and cry. Think I was a failure. Then watch the news and feel the whole world was crumbling in front of my eyes. Later that day I decided to go out and water the garden I am attempting to grow. Of course I have a garden I can't afford the damn food bill! So out I got with my hose, my beer and a cig! Sweet it is beautiful outside! A plus in my otherwise stressful daily life. I go water all my plants and I notice that I forgot to plant a couple of them. Shit! they are so wilted I am sure they are dead! perfect I can add "Brown Thumb" to the list of shit I am pissed about. I spent 1.00 on each of these plants and of course cucumbers and squash are always on sale! Figures... I think to myself and off I go back into the house, because I am going to nurse these little suckers back to life! I will be damned if I am going to let these two plants - that everyone in the world tells me CAN NOT - DIE! Basically everyone said if you kill a squash plant you have no hope. For fucks sake I think to myself as I have these 2 little plants in my hands. I am talking to them, as this has become my favorite past time apparently, "oh come on you guys I will give you some corona if you don't die". You know what - It worked the little suckers perked up with some corona and a little water!
So the moral to my story is Corona is the perfect fix all for everything! I feel better after a few Coronas and so do my plants! These are gonna be some kick ass squash and cucumbers that's for sure! Gonna give them a little Corona every other day I will keep you posted! And if your lucky I will send you guys all some LOL!!!!
So the moral to my story is Corona is the perfect fix all for everything! I feel better after a few Coronas and so do my plants! These are gonna be some kick ass squash and cucumbers that's for sure! Gonna give them a little Corona every other day I will keep you posted! And if your lucky I will send you guys all some LOL!!!!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
What the hell to do?
With the economy taking a crap, housing market taking a crap, the high cost of grocery's, the high cost of gas and the unemployment rate through the roof, Life looks pretty shitty right? So as always I am talking with my friends and brainstorming on what to do to make money and how to get rich quick! Like it's even possibly in this day and age. So the other night I found my self on the phone with Laura and we were discussing one of our many ideas on how to get rich and become millionaires etc etc. Remember we were gonna grow rice! LOL. So we have come up with a new partial plan that I think just might work. We are going to open a Medical Marijuana store. This is perfect. We know we can make millions! The ideal choice in a career move. Only a few hurdles to over come but I think it is a realistic dream and the way of the future. After laughing our asses off about our new life plan we hung up and I decided to investigate this possibility further. I mean that's what I do investigate things. So I take this new vision and discuss it with my mother. Wow she thinks its fantastic and even better if we become a church and a medical marijuana place. I can see it now we are going to get ordained become a church and sell medical marijuana. This will work perfect with LASFALS.
I have a new task at hand, my mother has decided she is going to be Queen of the universe and abolish all political parties and government. I am going to be the Secretary of Defense, which I must humbly admit I would be perfect at! So now all I need to do is make her a blog spot and we can get her elected and take over! I love it, between that and the church thing we should really have it going on!
Nothing really exciting happening today other then it it's Mickey's Birthday today and I am sad I could not be down in southern California with her to celebrate with all that bud lite she likes! But HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICKEY I am thinking of you always.
Went out to dinner tonight and have decided I like Pino Grigio wine. Now I just need a case or 2 and everything will be fine in my world!
Send me your damn drink recipes so i can get lasfals up and running!
Love you all
Cindy
I have a new task at hand, my mother has decided she is going to be Queen of the universe and abolish all political parties and government. I am going to be the Secretary of Defense, which I must humbly admit I would be perfect at! So now all I need to do is make her a blog spot and we can get her elected and take over! I love it, between that and the church thing we should really have it going on!
Nothing really exciting happening today other then it it's Mickey's Birthday today and I am sad I could not be down in southern California with her to celebrate with all that bud lite she likes! But HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICKEY I am thinking of you always.
Went out to dinner tonight and have decided I like Pino Grigio wine. Now I just need a case or 2 and everything will be fine in my world!
Send me your damn drink recipes so i can get lasfals up and running!
Love you all
Cindy
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Me and the Lawn Mower
Okay you all ready know it's gonna be funny! So I am sitting here on Friday thinking I should get out of the house and go mow the lawn, well the weeds, we really don't have a lawn. So here is the story.
I just used the weed whacker a few days ago and I go out side and try to pull start the thing. I must have pulled it 10 times, nothing, it won't start and I am all ready out of breath from trying it. So I think to myself, because no one is here, I am going to get out the ride on lawn mower, that's a great idea, I can ride around on the lawn mower and drink a beer. Perfect, so I make my way up the the barn. I have to get the barn door open which is like 100 feet tall. Everything is a 100 feet tall when your 5 foot 2. The damn door must weigh 800 pounds. You have to push this door up with all your strength and hope that it stays up. So here I am, remember I am all ready exhausted from the attempt to pull start the weed whacker. And for your information I have yet to have a beer. So I push this door up 6 times, every time the damn thing keeps falling back down. hey I got it I will tie it off with this little tiny rope and find something to stick under it and hold it up. The sweat is now pouring down my face and I am getting seriously pissed off. Tie it to what? Shit that wont work so down goes the door again while I attempt to find something, anything to hold the door open with. What the hell do i have to go through just to simply mow down some damn weeds. So i find a shelving bracket and I mean a LARGE bracket this thing is easily 10 feet long or 12 feet, remember I am 5 foot 2 on a very good day. With metal bracket, weight of 50 pounds, in hand I go back to the barn roll up door. I have 50 pounds of metal in one hand and 1 hand to shove the 800 pound door up with. So I get under the door and shove with 1 hand it goes up like 1 foot. There is no way in hell I can get this damn piece of metal under it so down goes the door. by now I have freaking out and talking to myself. "all i want to do is mow the damn weeds". So I go and find a broom, at least it is shorter then I am so I can make that work. I get the door propped open. I find the key to the ride on mower and look at the gas, oh well it could use some gas. So I search all over the place and finally find the gas can. I proceed to put gas in the thing to only find out that my hubby didn't screw the top on all the way. Of course now I have spilled gas all over the floor. "F!@%k this stupid POS lawn mower crap" is now spilling out of my mouth. Now I am worried the damn thing is going to start a fire if I try to start it inside the barn. So I decide that it is far safer and better for me to push this thing out of the barn and start it outside. Remember I am sweating my ass off and cursing like a sailor by now and talking to myself. I push and push the damn thing won't move, it must be in gear right? No it was in neutral!! "Damn it what does it take to mow the weeds" I am again talking to myself. Finally get the stupid thing out the door. Put the key in and try and start it! Oh hell no, the thing has a dead battery. Now I am seriously pissed off, like I wasn't before? LOL! Where the hell is the stupid battery charger thing I need. I find it, great now I need a damn extension cord to power it. Oh no not 1 cord I need freaking 3 damn cords to reach. Okay got it plugged in now I hook it up to the battery and look at this POS (piece of shit for those of you who don't know that) what the hell is Super Charge, Off and Charge. Well I figure out off, obviously, but remember I am on a mission and want to mow the weeds so "Super Charge" is what I pick. Call the hubby and tell him he says "NO NO not the Super Charge"! Okay it's on charge. Let it sit for a hour or two. By now I am so pissed off that I say "DAMN IT SOMETHING IS GETTING MOWED IF IT KILLS ME". I drag the gas can down to the push lawn mower and fill it up, proceeding to spill gas all over the place because now I have lost my damn glasses. Whatever something is getting mowed! 2 pulls it starts! Thank god I can mow! Ah my glasses, so off I go with the damn walk behind mower. I can tell you this much "I HATE MOWING THE WEEDS"!
Finally my son gets home and by now I am fully winded and exhausted! I have walked and walked and walked pushing this damn mower through the weeds that are up to my thighs and it keeps stalling because the weeds are so damn thick. I ask my son what the hell is wrong with the stupid ride on lawn mower? he says something totally stupid like "Mom why don't we just jump start it with the car"! DAMN IT why didn't I think of that. Of course the little shit gets it started right away. So off on the lawn mower he goes. Mows about 2 feet and is done. So i am gonna ride it now, screw that I need to get some weeds mowed. Still have not had my beer at this point! So off I go and ride all over the place in weeds taller then me. I make paths all over and think i am doing a fantastic job! It's starting to get dark outside and I need to go to the grocery store AGAIN! I come in the house and think I better change my clothes I got a bit dirty mowing the weeds. I walk toward my sons room and tell him let's go get some food at the store. "Mom what the hell is all over your face"? I look at him like he is from another planet. "What the hell are you talking about"? Kids what the hell do they know anyways. So off to the bathroom I go to take a look. My face is completely brown from dirt and the only clean spot is where my glasses where on my face! I should have gone to the store like that! So then I tell my good friend Laura last night the story about my face and she just starts busting up and says could you imagine if you did go to the store like that. someone would say excuse me you have something on your face! Where, I would say? Everywhere but where your glasses were! LOL So the moral to this little story I have figured out --- Have your damn beer first and that way you wont give a shit! And leave the mowing to the hubby! By the way I kinda ran 2 days together here!
Stupid lawn mowers!
P.S. Still working on the recipes for LASFALS! Gonna figure out how to make cheap good booze!
I just used the weed whacker a few days ago and I go out side and try to pull start the thing. I must have pulled it 10 times, nothing, it won't start and I am all ready out of breath from trying it. So I think to myself, because no one is here, I am going to get out the ride on lawn mower, that's a great idea, I can ride around on the lawn mower and drink a beer. Perfect, so I make my way up the the barn. I have to get the barn door open which is like 100 feet tall. Everything is a 100 feet tall when your 5 foot 2. The damn door must weigh 800 pounds. You have to push this door up with all your strength and hope that it stays up. So here I am, remember I am all ready exhausted from the attempt to pull start the weed whacker. And for your information I have yet to have a beer. So I push this door up 6 times, every time the damn thing keeps falling back down. hey I got it I will tie it off with this little tiny rope and find something to stick under it and hold it up. The sweat is now pouring down my face and I am getting seriously pissed off. Tie it to what? Shit that wont work so down goes the door again while I attempt to find something, anything to hold the door open with. What the hell do i have to go through just to simply mow down some damn weeds. So i find a shelving bracket and I mean a LARGE bracket this thing is easily 10 feet long or 12 feet, remember I am 5 foot 2 on a very good day. With metal bracket, weight of 50 pounds, in hand I go back to the barn roll up door. I have 50 pounds of metal in one hand and 1 hand to shove the 800 pound door up with. So I get under the door and shove with 1 hand it goes up like 1 foot. There is no way in hell I can get this damn piece of metal under it so down goes the door. by now I have freaking out and talking to myself. "all i want to do is mow the damn weeds". So I go and find a broom, at least it is shorter then I am so I can make that work. I get the door propped open. I find the key to the ride on mower and look at the gas, oh well it could use some gas. So I search all over the place and finally find the gas can. I proceed to put gas in the thing to only find out that my hubby didn't screw the top on all the way. Of course now I have spilled gas all over the floor. "F!@%k this stupid POS lawn mower crap" is now spilling out of my mouth. Now I am worried the damn thing is going to start a fire if I try to start it inside the barn. So I decide that it is far safer and better for me to push this thing out of the barn and start it outside. Remember I am sweating my ass off and cursing like a sailor by now and talking to myself. I push and push the damn thing won't move, it must be in gear right? No it was in neutral!! "Damn it what does it take to mow the weeds" I am again talking to myself. Finally get the stupid thing out the door. Put the key in and try and start it! Oh hell no, the thing has a dead battery. Now I am seriously pissed off, like I wasn't before? LOL! Where the hell is the stupid battery charger thing I need. I find it, great now I need a damn extension cord to power it. Oh no not 1 cord I need freaking 3 damn cords to reach. Okay got it plugged in now I hook it up to the battery and look at this POS (piece of shit for those of you who don't know that) what the hell is Super Charge, Off and Charge. Well I figure out off, obviously, but remember I am on a mission and want to mow the weeds so "Super Charge" is what I pick. Call the hubby and tell him he says "NO NO not the Super Charge"! Okay it's on charge. Let it sit for a hour or two. By now I am so pissed off that I say "DAMN IT SOMETHING IS GETTING MOWED IF IT KILLS ME". I drag the gas can down to the push lawn mower and fill it up, proceeding to spill gas all over the place because now I have lost my damn glasses. Whatever something is getting mowed! 2 pulls it starts! Thank god I can mow! Ah my glasses, so off I go with the damn walk behind mower. I can tell you this much "I HATE MOWING THE WEEDS"!
Finally my son gets home and by now I am fully winded and exhausted! I have walked and walked and walked pushing this damn mower through the weeds that are up to my thighs and it keeps stalling because the weeds are so damn thick. I ask my son what the hell is wrong with the stupid ride on lawn mower? he says something totally stupid like "Mom why don't we just jump start it with the car"! DAMN IT why didn't I think of that. Of course the little shit gets it started right away. So off on the lawn mower he goes. Mows about 2 feet and is done. So i am gonna ride it now, screw that I need to get some weeds mowed. Still have not had my beer at this point! So off I go and ride all over the place in weeds taller then me. I make paths all over and think i am doing a fantastic job! It's starting to get dark outside and I need to go to the grocery store AGAIN! I come in the house and think I better change my clothes I got a bit dirty mowing the weeds. I walk toward my sons room and tell him let's go get some food at the store. "Mom what the hell is all over your face"? I look at him like he is from another planet. "What the hell are you talking about"? Kids what the hell do they know anyways. So off to the bathroom I go to take a look. My face is completely brown from dirt and the only clean spot is where my glasses where on my face! I should have gone to the store like that! So then I tell my good friend Laura last night the story about my face and she just starts busting up and says could you imagine if you did go to the store like that. someone would say excuse me you have something on your face! Where, I would say? Everywhere but where your glasses were! LOL So the moral to this little story I have figured out --- Have your damn beer first and that way you wont give a shit! And leave the mowing to the hubby! By the way I kinda ran 2 days together here!
Stupid lawn mowers!
P.S. Still working on the recipes for LASFALS! Gonna figure out how to make cheap good booze!
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