Turkey Invasion

Okay so I am sitting at the computer as i always am! I hear this boom bang crash gobble gobble. I am like , what the hell was that. "Mom a turkey is in the dog's yard got get it" Go get it? What the hell how am I gonna get a turkey. okay well i am the Mom and like any good Mom I go running out to the yard to see what I can do. So as you know I have 300 plus pounds of dogs to control as they want to know how come i never got them a chewy toy that could fly before. So hear i am screaming at the dogs. "Bella, no Bella no God damn it Bella get away" "Shit buddy no buddy no god damn it where is the hose"? No response from the dogs they want to play with this stupid damn turkey that has flown in the yard. I finally get the dogs away and look at Bella and she has feathers in her mouth. Great she is killing the turkey or so I think anyways.

So I am screaming at the dogs, it is 100 degrees outside i am pissed off and have a freaked out turkey in my yard. I know, I will just put the dogs in the house open the gate and the turkey will just walk out. So off i go back in the house with the dogs. I wait a couple of hours and let the dogs out and close the gate. The Turkey must be gone by now. shit off go the dogs the stupid turkey is still in the yard. I cant believe it! What the hell! This is the dumbest turkey in the world. now I feel even worse because I notice it is a girl turkey and I know she probably has a nest somewhere around here. So back in the house go the dogs and i close the door. Forget it I think to myself, when the son gets home he can deal with it.

Andrew gets home, I yell hey, go check the yard for a turkey. he's like what the hell are you talking about. So i explain - quickly cuz i am in the car now, and he goes off to look. When I get back he says Mom no turkey was in the yard. Great I think to myself, because we all ready know I was going to start looking for the Turkey Rescue people if I couldn't get it out of the yard.

Well I have no idea if there is a dead turkey in the yard or not actually because my son didn't walk the whole damn fence line and I am to afraid to walk it in fear that I might find a dead turkey.

honestly i don't think i am cut out for the country life. Normal people would have probably killed it and ate the damn thing. And here I am trying to figure out how to save this stupid bird. Something is wrong with this picture don't ya think? I am such a tard. Maybe I should go look and see if the damn Turkey is gone by now.